The 5 Worst Movies of 2017…So Far

This is slightly later than I was expecting, but I’m back! A few days ago I posted my 5 Best Movies of 2017 so far, and now I’m here with the worst. This is what’s strange though. It’s actually been REALLY difficult to scrape 5 movies together. Not because of trying to whittle them down to 5, but I just haven’t seen many bad movies so far! I’m putting that down to the fact I’m behind on recent releases and so I’ve concentrated on recommendations so far.

I almost wussed out and did a list of 4 but that just felt wrong, so I do have 5 movies for you. However! Take some of these with a pinch of salt, because the first 2 picks aren’t that bad at all, they’re just mediocre enough to make this list.

Oh, and another quick reminder, I go by UK release dates!

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#5 Despicable Me 3 

This is what I mean. So I actually quite enjoyed watching Despicable Me 3. Is it something I’ll ever watch again? Probably not. Oh wait, of course I will. Sometime soon my life is going to full of kids movies. The story is a little too simple. the plot predictable, and despite me not being a fan of their solo movie, the minions are still the funniest part. Nonetheless, I did quite enjoy Agnes’ quest to find a real unicorn! Did they really need to tie it in with that other Dreamworks movie, Sing?! Ugh.

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#4 Before I Fall

Again, this movie isn’t so bad, it’s just quite forgettable. It’s the teenage-angst version of Groundhog Day, basically. A good premise, and again an ending I didn’t see coming, but the problem with these kind of movies comes with the repetition. How many times do you want to watch the same girl’s school ritual? Let’s just put these kind of movies in the same lock box as all the Freaky Friday ones. Funnily enough, the day after I saw this I spotted the trailer for Happy Death Day, so I guess these Groundhog Day movies are making a comeback. Sigh.

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#3 Fifty Shades Darker

As a warm-blooded female, I’m really kind of neutral on the whole Fifty Shades business, I can enjoy the series for what it is, and it’s always a good excuse for a girls movie night, in or out. Whereas the first movie was quite funny however (intentional or not, who knows) this one lacked, and it was really quite obvious where its origins were, badly-written fanfiction. That ending was cringey as hell!

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#2 Fist Fight

Eh, I kind of knew Fist Fight would end up in a list like this before I watched it, but I don’t mind sitting through an hour and a half of comedy with Ice Cube and Charlie Day. It has a few funny moments, mostly the same moments that were in the trailers, but it mostly falls flat. Enjoyable at the time, but I’m not going to remember this one in a year’s time.

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#1 Baywatch

It ENRAGES me how bad this movie was. ENRAGES me. I LOVE Dwayne Johnson, and I’m 100% on his side for calling out the critics on their crap. But this wasn’t the movie to do that on the back of. All the elements of a decent summer comedy were there, so why did it suck so hard? Most of the jokes were completely forgotten the second I left the cinema, and not even Zac Efron’s body could save the day. I never thought I’d say this but honey, you need to put on a little weight!

Sigh. Last year’s list was so much more fun to write, because my hatred was so strong, but this list feels kind of meh. Why I’m complaining I don’t know, surely all we want to see are great movies? But there’s a weird joy in hate-writing about bad movies, and I haven’t had that yet this year. Send me your terrible suggestions folks!

My Top 5 Road Trip Movies – With Drew’s Movie Reviews

The ever wonderful Drew at Drew’s Movie Reviews invited me to write a guest post with him for his blog, and we decided upon Road Trip Movies! I urge you to check out his original post here. However, if you don’t follow him already (are you crazy?) then here’s a summary of our picks:

I so wish road trips were more of a thing in the UK. I guess the main problem is that we’re just a tiny little island, and our roads kind of suck. Nevermind though, because I get to live the dream through movies! These are my top 5 road trip movies.

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#5 Paul (2011)
Speaking of British folk who dream of an American road trip, that’s what Paul is all about! Simon Pegg and Nick Frost play 2 comic book geeks travelling across the US, ticking landmarks off their bucket list. Everything kind of goes haywire when they encounter an actual alien outside of Area 51. It’s not up there with Shaun of the Dead, but you can always count on this duo to make a comedy worth watching!

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#4 Borat (2006)
How is this movie 11 years old now? Sacha Baron Cohen plays Borat, sent on a trip to the US to report on what Kazakhstan TV says is the greatest country in the world. It preys on people who have no idea it’s a fictional movie, it’s innappropriate, but it’s funny as hell and stole the hearts of many of us Brits, including me. It spawned a lot of copycat movies which were terrible, but this one stands strong.

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#3 Chef (2014)
Chef is the ultimate food porn movie, the kind of movie you absolutely cannot watch unless you’ve just eaten a full meal, and even then your stomach will surprise you by rumbling! It’s also a beautiful, heart warming story about a chef played by Jon Favreau who quits his job and takes a trip with his son across the US in a food truck. Isn’t that just the perfect to travel?

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#2 Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
It’s impossible to explain Little Miss Sunshine to anyone without making it sound like the most depressing movie ever. A family take a road trip to take their chubby, uncoordinated daughter to a beauty pageant. Along for the ride is their Uncle who recently tried to commit suicide and well, I’ll let the rest be a surprise if you haven’t seen it before. It’s one of those rare movies that absolutely nails the blend of drama and comedy.

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#1 National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983)
National Lampoon’s Vacation isn’t just the greatest family road trip movie ever. It might just be my #1 movie of all time. I can’t tell you how many times I watched this as a child. You don’t need to have had a road trip to identify with this one, just any holiday will do, or even any car journey spent with family. Everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and it holds up surprisingly well after all these years.

In fact, I love this movie so much that part of our Californian Honeymoon last year involved a trip to Six Flags Magic Mountain, which you may not know is where the fictional theme park Walley World in National Lampoon’s Vacation was set. Whilst there we managed to recreate this famous scene!

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Here are Drew’s picks, in his own words (in italics to save confusion)

drewpost15) Dumb and Dumber

Dumb and Dumber is the kind of film that, on paper, seems like it should fail. Two dimwits travel across the country to deliver a briefcase that one of them thought was left behind by mistake. However, it is one of the funniest films from the 90s and one of Jim Carrey’s best films. And that is why it works, because of Carrey and Jeff Daniels. They have a chemistry that feels genuine. It gives the film a lot of heart that it might not have otherwise. As Harry (Daniels) and Lloyd (Carrey) travel to Aspen, Colorado, they cause all kinds of mayhem that garner some great laughs.

4) The Cannonball Rundrewpost2

I feel like The Cannonball Run is a forgotten 1980s gem. Released in the early 80s, it stars some of the biggest stars of the time, including Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Farrah Fawcett, Roger Moore, and many others. I feel that of all the movie genres, comedies differ the most between eras and act as a timecapsule of their era. Every decade seems to have their own flavor or sense of humor. I mention that because it is very different from a comedy you would find these days, but I love it. It is much more subtle, think along the lines of The Naked Gun. I can honestly say they don’t make them like this anymore.

drewpost33) Finding Nemo

You might not think of Finding Nemo as a road trip film but it has all the classic staples of a traditional road trip film. A group of people traveling to a destination together? Check. Film has many side characters who only show up for a scene or two? Check. Group feels closer at end of film? Check. What makes this Pixar classic a classic are the characters and their story. Merlin just wants to find his missing son, Nemo. Along the way, he runs into the forgetful Dory, who joins him on his search. The story is so simple but it works. By following the road trip formula, Pixar was able to really explore the characters that would not have worked as well in another way.

2) Planes, Trains and Automobilesdrewpost4

A John Hughes classic. Planes, Trains and Automobiles is the movie on this list I saw for the first time most recently. I don’t know how it took me so long to watch this movie. Both Steve Martin and John Candy have been favorite comedic actors of mine and the two of them are absolutely fantastic together. Their chemistry is some of the best in any comedy film. Even after seeing it several times now, I still can’t help but laugh at Neal Page’s (Martin) misfortune and Del Griffith’s (Candy) good-natured clumsiness. This was very close to being my number one spot but it was barely inched out by another John Hughes film.

drewpost51) National Lampoon’s Vacation

Ah, the OG road trip movie (probably not, don’t quote me on that). I think I was drawn to National Lampoon’s Vacation based on the movie poster / cover art, honestly. How can that be called anything less than epic? This is one of those films that anyone can relate to. Clark just wants to give his family the perfect vacation, his wife Ellen wants to get to Walley World in one piece, while their children, Rusty and Audrey, would rather be anywhere else. The Griswolds are constantly finding themselves in precarious situations that you can’t help but laugh it. If you ever think your family has problems, watch this film and you’ll instantly feel better.

Honorary mentions include Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, Tommy Boy, Fanboys, and Zombieland.

But wait, there’s more! Here’s Allie again to tell you about it:

Now, it was my suggestion to Drew that we throw in a little something extra into this post for a bit of fun. My question was, if you could go on holiday or vacation anywhere from a movie, either fictional or real, where would you go? I probably should have thought about my answer before suggesting that because that’s why my part of this post has taken so long to write! Thinking of things I’ve watched recently though, I would absolutely love to explore the island of Themyscira, from Wonder Woman (2017). I haven’t had a true beach holiday in years, and that island looked stunning. Plus, I’m not exactly going to complain if Chris Pine just happened to wash up on the shore whilst I was sipping a cocktail!

A place I would really like to go would be the Republic capital planet of Coruscant. However, that might be a little bit further of a trip than Allie had in mind. So instead, I would travel to Hogwarts. It would be fun to see the best school of witchcraft and wizardry the UK has to offer. Not to mention driving through that picturesque country side.

Mini Reviews: Fist Fight (2017), Shimmer Lake (2017), & Before I Fall (2017)

The last couple of weeks have been so crazy that I haven’t been on this blog for what feels like forever! In my defence, it was purely because I had nothing to blog about – that kind of happens when you don’t actually get round to watching anything. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I’ve caught up over the weekend and watched a few fairly mediocre movies that were perfect for some mini reviews.

Ready to be underwhelmed?

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Why wasn’t this movie called Teacher Fight? That’s what’s said at least 100 times, and I honestly had to double check that wasn’t the real title. Starring Ice Cube and Charlie Day, this was a real ‘meh’ comedy that was as predictable as hell. I have a soft spot for Charlie Day’s comedic charm so I can forgive it slightly, and it had a few moments that made me chuckle, but you can lump it with 2017’s lame comedies.

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I’ll admit, I quite enjoyed Shimmer Lake. The problem is, if I had to explain it to anyone, I’d say it’s a cross between Fargo and Memento. That sounds like a combination made in heaven, but it’s nowhere near as good. It’s a crime/mystery/thriller told in that backwards, Memento style, and most of the main characters are quite quirky in that Fargo sense, but it’s just not as polished, plot and direction wise. Still, I quite enjoyed it and wasn’t expecting the ending at all!

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Speaking of movies that seem far too familiar, I also watched Before I Fall. It’s the teenage-angst version of Groundhog Day, basically. A good premise, and again an ending I didn’t see coming, but the problem with these kind of movies comes with the repetition. How many times do you want to watch the same girl’s school ritual? Let’s just put these kind of movies in the same lock box as all the Freaky Friday ones.

I feel like I’ve brought you a bit of a mediocre Monday, but I’m sure something great will come along soon. I’m seeing Wonder Woman tomorrow night, but because I’ve been away I don’t actually know what the general consensus is. Is it good, you guys?

Review: Colossal (2017)

colossal-movie-review-2017I am SO hyped up and excited to tell you all about Colossal, but equally bummed out because I can’t actually tell you that much without spoiling a truly weird and wonderful cinematic experience! I’m not sure Jenna believed me when I told her I wanted to see this for the crazy plot, mainly because Dan Stevens is in it and I’m developing a bit of an obsession, but honestly, I’ve been on the lookout for a movie that is both new and a bit unique, rather than a remake or sequel.

Here’s what I can tell you about the plot. Gloria (Anne Hathaway) is out of control and out of a job. Her party mentality forces her boyfriend Tim (Dan Stevens) to kick her out and force her to move back to her hometown. Around that time, a giant monster is reported to have attacked the city of Seoul, and Gloria discovers that she is directly connected to this monster.

It takes a while for the movie to kick itself into gear, I’ll admit. The first 20 minutes are largely unnecessary (apart from that intriguing opening scene) and it begins to feel like a stereotypical romcom. If you can get past that though, the rest is a wild ride. This isn’t a romance movie, as much as you might be thinking, especially when Gloria’s childhood friend Oscar (Jason Sudeikis) shows up. It’s also quite hilarious in moments, but it’s not a comedy. This is a drama that gets dark as hell towards the end. You’ve been warned!

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The whole main cast is wonderful. I haven’t seen much of Anne Hathaway but she’s a delight to watch in this, and not annoying in the slightest for playing such a destructive character. I love Jason Sudeikis’ comedies, but I’ve never seen him in a role like this, and whilst he’s not going to take home an Oscar for his performance, this dude can act! Dan Stevens is obviously wonderful (and British this time!) but his role is very minor.

What I really want to tell you though is to give this movie a chance. Watch the trailer, by all means, but know that the actual story is much bigger than you think it is. Don’t read up too much on it either, go in as blind as you can. It’s a miracle in 2017 to have a trailer actually give away very little about the story. I’m looking at you, Spider-Man: Homecoming!

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Colossal isn’t perfect. It’s messy at times, but it’s unique and I think it deserves so much credit for going out there and doing something different for a change. In a year full of sequels and remakes I have high hopes that Colossal will be in my Top 10 of 2017 by the end of the year! It gets 4 and a half out of 5 inflatable mattresses from me, an extra half point awarded for weirdness.

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My Movie Alphabet Vol 2 Blogathon

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It’s a super exciting month for one of my fellow bloggers, Mettel Ray, because her blog has just turned 7 years old! Back in 2012 she ran the Movie Alphabet Blogathon to celebrate her 400th post, and 5 years later she’s back with Vol 2! I wasn’t even a blogger back in 2012 and my movie knowledge was nothing short of awful, so I’m taking part for the first time, but who knows, maybe we’ll be doing this all over again in a few years time!

You’ve got until the end of May to take part so if you’d like to find out more, check out Mettel Ray’s original post here. There are a few rules, the most important of which are as follows:

1. List your favourite actors, actresses, movies or directors from # to z

2. I allow a little wiggle room: you may list two under one letter* because it is vol 2 after all!

*in that case, the choices have to be from different categories – actor/director, actress/movie, etc.*

3. If you participated last time, don’t look at your first movie alphabet before vol 2 is ready

4. Comparisons in between your new alphabet and the previous one are highly encouraged

5. Post your Movie Alphabet Vol 2 by the 31st of May, link back to this post and let me know here in the comments or over at twitter @MettelRay (and use the hashtag mettelrayse7en)

Before I start, I’m really sorry, I broke rule #2 several times. I tried not to, but it just happened. I also seem to be talking about Fight Club a lot recently too, so it’s just something I can’t help right now.

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(#) How many movies I’ve seen so far (Runner Up: 500 Days of Summer)

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(A) Adam Driver (Runner Up: Anna Kendrick)

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(B) BAFTAs Night (Runner Up: Birdman)

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(C) The Cornetto Trilogy (Runner Up: Crazy, Stupid, Love)

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(D) Disney (Runner Up: Denis Villenueve)

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(E) Emma Stone (Runner Up: Early Access Previews)

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(F) Fargo (Runner Up: Feast)

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(G) Guardians of the Galaxy (Runner Up: Gone Girl)

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(H) Harry Potter (Runner Up: Hunt for the Wilderpeople)

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(I) Inside Out (Runner Up: It Follows)

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(J) John Boyega (Runner Up: Jake Gyllenhaal)

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(K) Kubo and the Two Strings (Runner Up: Kingsman Secret Service)

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(L) Letterboxd (Runner Up: La La Land)

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(M) M. Night Shyamalan (Runner Up: Memento)

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(N) Napoleon Dynamite (Runner Up: Netflix)

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(O) Ohana (Runner Up: Once)

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(P) Pitch Perfect (Runner Up: Plot Twists)

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(Q) Quotes (Runner Up: Quentin Tarantino)

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(R) Ryan Reynolds (Runner Up: Ryan Gosling)

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(S) Star Wars (Runner Up: Sandra Bullock)

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(T) Taika Waititi (Runner Up: Trailers)

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(U) The Usual Suspects (Runner Up: Unbreakable)

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(V) National Lampoon’s Vacation (Runner Up: Vin Diesel)

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(W) Whiplash (Runner Up: What We Do in the Shadows)

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(X) ‘X’ Marks the Spot – Treasure Hunting Movies (Runner Up: X-Men)

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(Y) Yoda (Runner Up: Yes Man)

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(Z) Zootopia/Zootropolis (Runner Up: Zombieland)

Movie Confessions Blogathon

Two weeks ago I asked all you lovely bloggers to send me your movie related confessions. You delivered, big time, and boy oh boy did you shock me along the way! Let’s get straight to it, shall we?

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Firstly, there’s a heck of a lot of ‘must see’ movies that you haven’t seen. In fact, I hold you all personally responsible for making me sit through The Godfather a couple of years ago, because I thought I’d be a blogging fraud if I couldn’t hold a conversation about it.

“As of this blogathon, I have not seen any Studio Ghibli film.” – Drew’s Movie Reviews

“As of this blogathon, I have not seen any Terminator movie outside of short clips.” – Drew’s Movie Reviews

“I’ve never watched any of the Godfather films. I know they exist and that they are excellent, but they just keep passing me by. One day I’ll manage.
And neither have I watched Forrest Gump. To be honest, unless it just happens to be showing on TV, I doubt I’ll actively seek it out. It has just never appealed enough to get me to watch it. Despite hearing all the wonderful reviews. And, if I watch it I’ll probably wonder why it took me so long.
…Or Shawshank Redemption. Or Silence of the Lambs.” – Thoughts All Sorts

“I have not actually yet seen Citizen Kane, nor The Godfather films for that matter.” – This Is Madness!

Shocking, guys. Shocking. You also had a lot of love to share, some guilty pleasures, and some movies that just deserve more love all round!

“I love Dirty Dancing so so much, as well as Grease, Mean Girls, Napoleon Dynamite, Wayne’s World 1 and 2, the Bridget Jones trilogy and Miss Congeniality. If any of these movies are on TV and I happen to be flicking the channels, I just have to watch them.” – Charlene’s (Mostly) Classic Movie Reviews

“My friend and I became obsessed with Suite Francaise and we saw it three times at the cinema. I thought it we saw it enough times, the ending would have been happier.” – She Likes Movies

“In my opinion, the X-Men franchise beats the MCU any day of the week. Any. Day.” – The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger

“I prefer George Lucas’ Star Wars (prequels included) over Disney’s Star Wars.” – This Is Madness!

“When Garfield the movie came out, I made my aunt take me to see it. There was only 4 other people there. I absolutely loved the film, mostly because of Bill Murray but I know it’s a most hated film. My aunt has never forgiven me for making her go.” – She Likes Movies

Realweegiemidget has so many guilty pleasures that they sent me a whole list! Read it here.

I’m getting a warm, fuzzy feeling from all this love right now. Oh wait, I just left my fan heater on behind my desk. My bad! Hold on tight, things are about to get rough now as we head into the things you find completely overrated.

“I find many best picture Oscar nominated movies to be overrated.” – Drew’s Movie Reviews

“I think Meryl Streep is overrated. She’s not a terrible actress, but a bulk of her greatest performances were at the beginning of her career. Her roles since Out of Africa or Sophie’s Choice are just okay. She doesn’t wow me like everyone else seems to be…” – Anonymous

“All the ‘hype’ around La La Land has actually put me off the movie. The Trailer didn’t help catch my attention either.” – Thoughts All Sorts

“I’m probably the only person in the world who didn’t enjoy Moonlight and was saddened when it won Best Picture this year.” – Movie Rob

Ouch! It’s not getting any better from here, folks. Here’s what you absolutely hated. Fans of Birdman, beware…

“I really didn’t enjoy Terence Malick films. I value a very strong plot/screenplay in a film, and I feel that he focuses too much on the cinematography and visuals for my taste.! – Charlene’s (Mostly) Classic Movie Reviews 

“I really hated Birdman.” – Life of This City Girl

“I strongly disliked Birdman. I just couldn’t connect with it. I really enjoyed what is considered to be one of the worst Best Picture winners of all-time, The Greatest Show on Earth. Who would want to miss seeing Jimmy Stewart in a clown costume?.” – Charlene’s (Mostly) Classic Movie Reviews

“I absolutely hate the James Bond series. And in fact, it is the only series of films that I refuse to watch, no matter how good everyone says certain entries are.” – This Is Madness!

Can someone go check to see if Michael Keaton is okay, please? These next few don’t fit into any particular category, but they’re still great. My apologies go out to Katie at She Likes Movies because I’m still laughing at her Back to the Future confession, even though that movie is probably ruined forever for her.

“I was really disturbed by Inland Empire so when I had an argument with a close friend of mine, about films, when we sorta made up, I said she could have my copy, thinking it was a punishment as I was still angry with her.” – She Likes Movies

“My blogging friends know more about my movie ‘addiction’ than my friends and family in the real world do.” – Movie Rob

“I feel like I have overactive tear ducts, so if there is any kind of emotional scene in a movie, I will at the very least get watery eyes.” – Drew’s Movie Reviews

“I once had an awkward encounter while Back  to the Future was on in the background. Things ended so badly with the guy that I couldn’t watch the film until years after. And I love Back to the Future.” – She Likes Movies

Last, but by no means least, one of my all time favourite bloggers, known as Lady Sati over at Cinematic Corner had so much to confess (seriously girl, how did you have anything left?) that she needed her own section. Are you ready for this?

“1. Big Little Lies is overhyped as hell. Spoilers – the idea in this day and age Jane didn’t know what her friend’s husband looks like and that he would lose his cool so bad and just started beating those women up buried the show. And Vallee music video filmmaking style is fine in 2h movie but it was a nightmare to get through when I saw the 7 episodes in one sitting.”

“2. I judge people who tell me they like Chris Pratt. All you need to do is google the chihuahua him and his wife abandoned or the cat he gave up on twitter because he knocked his wife up. I wish these two never worked in Hollywood or anywhere else again.”

“3. I think Amy Adams is the most overrated actress on the planet and if she wasn’t there every single Oscar season doing tons of interviews and round tables no one would nominate her on merit of her performance. Gary Oldman is 100x better than her but he doesn’t do award circuit promo thing. He has one nomination, she has 5 and everyone cries that she didn’t get a 6th one this year. It’s ridiculous.”

“4. I think people who doubt how Jennifer Lawrence went from doing indie films to doing big profile movies over night even after they saw her casting couch photos are naive.”

“5. I never saw Citizen Kane and I don’t think I will. The idea you need to sit through some old, boring movie – from all accounts I heard – just because you are a movie fan is stupid.”

“6. I have The Heat in my top 100 and Logan in my top 25 and yes they are both higher than Psycho. Because when I come home and want to see something to entertain me – the film that does a better job at that is gonna be higher on my favorite movies list than a better/more acclaimed film.”

“7. Seeing how Hugh Jackman on his own makes Les Miserables watchable makes the fact the Academy chose to give overrated DDL his third Oscar for mediocre performance in Lincoln even more ridiculous.”

“8. And finally I have little respect for people who 1. take the money 2. lose weight/do crazy things/put their health at risk 3. ramble on during talk shows how much they suffered when not only did they not do those things for free, out of their own free will but usually they get awards for it which leads to more roles and more money. If you ate a carrot a day, it’s because you chose to. No one forced you. Now please, shut up about it.”

“Oh and one more! 9. Meryl Streep gave a standing ovation to a rapist Roman Polanski. Praising her for her ‘anti-Trump speech’ during Globes was so cringe-worthy. She stood up and clapped for a rapist. She has no moral authority over anyone.”

Everyone, I can’t thank you enough for taking part and spreading the word! I thought I would have to pad this post out with my own confessions but you’ve outdone all of my expectations! I’m thinking we’re going to have to make this a yearly tradition.