Double Review: Rough Night (2017) & The House (2017)

What do you do when you haven’t got stuck into a great movie for a while, and you’re also mentally preparing yourself to get back into blogging and actually expressing opinions and thoughts on said movies? Switch your brain off and get stuck into 2 sub-par comedies of course!

Has 2017 had a great comedy yet? I’m behind so maybe I’ve missed it, or maybe I’m just losing my sense of humour. We’re definitely owed a few laughs though!

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Rough Night (2017)

There’s been a huge rise lately of female-centred comedies, which I am all for of course, but not all are hitting the mark. Rough Night features an all female cast (if we forget about the dead stripper) and even a past female relationship which wasn’t thrown in our faces which I definitely appreciate. However, what could have been a modern day Weekend at Bernies fell rather flat.

The main issue I found with Rough Night was the overall tone. It didn’t know what kind of movie it wanted to be. We’ve all seen the trailer, we know the group accidentally kill a stripper that comes to their home, but that scene itself was actually really dark…

Common sense got thrown out of the window and just when I started to get into the silliness of it all again, things got deep real fast and left me confused again. One thing I’ll say though is it wasn’t the disaster I thought it would be, and I actually quite enjoyed all of the main actresses, even if my beloved Kate McKinnon was a bit over the top. Stay with the credits for this one though, if nothing else made you laugh McKinnon’s song will!

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The House (2017)

I was dying to see The House ever since I saw a trailer. I had no visions of it being an outstanding comedy, but I loved the cast so much I was just happy knowing that I’d be able to see them all in something new.  In The House, Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell are parents struggling to afford their daughter’s tuition after her scholarship is taken away. They team up with their best friend, Jason Mantzoukas and set up their own casino.

So yeah, the funniest moments are all in the trailer. The plot is wafer thin and it’s predictable throughout. But it’s a fairly short movie by today’s standards at just under an hour and a half, and I’ve certainly spent the same amount of time doing worse things! My Parks and Rec senses were in overdrive in the town hall meeting scene with so many familiar faces, especially with Amy Poehler herself there!

I think my favourite running joke was Will Ferrell’s complete inability to count, or deal with math of any kind to be honest. I don’t know if it was as funny as it seemed to me or if it was one of the few jokes that just so happened to land, but it honestly made me laugh out loud each time. I’m easily amused I think!

How is 2017 doing comedy wise though overall? Are there some hidden gems I should hunt down or look forward to? The Big Sick (2017) was fantastic – but I need a laugh out loud comedy right now!

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Review: Baywatch (2017)

baywatch-movie-review-2017Okay, so I still haven’t seen Wonder Woman (the world has decided I’m not meant to see it I swear) so I’m really sorry I’m presenting you with Baywatch rather than that. Hear me out though! I got an offer for a date night with my bestie, and it was going to involve Ben & Jerry’s Cinnamon Buns ice cream. I am a pregnant lady dammit, and I’m weak! Plus, I find Dwayne Johnson so irresistibly likeable, I felt like I owed him one.

In this remake of the original TV Show, Dwayne Johnson is the Lieutenant of Baywatch, or head of the Life Guards for a simpler term. Summer is here, and him and his team are holding tryouts for 3 new positions on the squad. Zac Efron is a twice Gold-winning Olympic swimmer who has been disgraced after throwing up in the pool, and so he’s been sent to the bay…I’m actually not sure why. It was some kind of plea deal?

See, the plot is kind of all over the place. It’s not enough to be a simple, summer comedy. It’s also a crime-solving movie, and Priyanka Chopra is our bad guy. She’s murdering people left right and centre, covering them up as accidents, so that she can…control some real estate? Again – I’m honestly not sure what exactly she was doing.

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All this would be forgivable in my eyes if the movie was funny, but it just isn’t. I chuckled a few times, I gagged at all 3 mentions of dead people smelling like dairy products (I’m feeling ill thinking about it) and I got bored very quickly of the penis jokes. Even this might be almost forgivable if I had some eye candy to admire, but as much as I love Zac Efron, he looks plain weird with his new, 5% body-fat self. Please refer to Ryan Reynolds in Blade Trinity for that one!

…Hold up, I lost about 10 minutes on Google image search there. What was I saying? I’m sorry Dwayne Johnson, I’m actually on your side in this Rotten Tomatoes battle you have going on, but this wasn’t the movie to use. A bit of stupidity is fun, look at San Andreas, but this was too much. There’s a moment when Zac walks past a sea urchin and Dwayne lectures him all about what they are and what they do – and then they simply walk off. “Oh” I think, “that’ll be important to the plot later then, us as the audience must be too dumb to know what a sea urchin is.” Low and behold! It turns up in the finale.

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I forgot about this scene. This was quite funny!

I have to mention the CGI too. On the whole it wasn’t too bad, but in an early scene with a boat on fire, with fire surrounding it in the water, I thought I might have been watching Sharknado. It was seriously THAT BAD. How much of the budget did they blow just to have David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson turn up?

I realise I’ve spent this whole post slagging the movie off, but it was a fairly enjoyable experience on the whole, it just was nowhere near as good as I hoped. I never expected a masterpiece, but I usually enjoy these summer comedies a lot more! Apologies to my friend Steph if she’s reading this and actually kind of loved the movie – I still had a really fun night!

Ideally I would give Baywatch 2 out of 5 concealed boners, or dead guy penises (penis’s? peni?) but that would be gross, so 2 important-to-the-plot sea urchins it is!

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Review: A Dog’s Purpose (2017)

a-dogs-purpose-movie-review-2017As a movie blogger, I feel the need to have a ‘never say never’ kind of attitude when it comes to actually watching movies. I tell all my friends and family “If there’s ever something you want to see at the cinema and no-one will go with you, I will!”. That’s how I found myself watching Fast & Furious 5 with Jenna (having watched none in the series prior) and The Monuments Men with my husband (still haven’t forgiven him). It’s also how I wound up at the cinema last week with my Mum to see A Dog’s Purpose.

Why do we do this to ourselves? That’s what we asked each other while queuing for a cup of tea. We know this movie is going to make us cry, and yet we just can’t help ourselves. I don’t know whether to be thankful for the fact that the screen was fairly busy (more people crying to make me feel better) or full of shame because my Mum likes to choose the quiet moment to blow her nose.

If you don’t know already, A Dog’s Purpose is one dog’s story about trying to find meaning in his life. Or should I say lives, because in this world, when a dog dies he is brought back to life as a new born puppy. Say it with me now, ‘awww’.

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The dog we get to follow is called Bailey, and we hear his thoughts through the ever entertaining Olaf LeFou Josh Gad. I’ve got to admit, anyone with a deep love for their own pet will find a lot of humour in Bailey’s commentary, especially if you’ve ever had an actual conversation with your dog, cat, parrot, or whatever you have.

Of course it made me cry. It would make even those with the coldest hearts tear up just slightly. I wasn’t timing it or anything, but I’m fairly sure there were 2 dog deaths within the first 10 minutes of the movie. If that’s not enough to get you, there’s a healthy dose of angst, domestic abuse and alcoholism that might tug on those heartstrings instead.

If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen the whole movie, sadly. Bailey has a few other lives that are saved for the big screen itself, but the middle section of the movie is all just filler, leaving you waiting for the big reunion moment that you know is coming. It’s not a masterpiece movie, but it knows what it wants from it’s audience and it succeeds in that, so what more can you say!

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I’ll tell you one last thing though, I’m fairly certain my Mum and I both went home and hugged our pets extra tight that night. It didn’t stop me from cursing my cats with every bad word invented when they hid a live bird from me of course, but for that evening, they were my favourite things in the world. In fact, can we have A Cat’s Purpose next year? Just follow the same principle, but make it an hour and a half of cats being a******s instead. I’ll watch that.

3 out of 5 bottles of Baileys from me. It’s clever, because that’s the dog’s name, but it also makes me sad because I haven’t touched alcohol since Christmas.

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Review: Table 19 (2017)

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Can we at least agree this is one of the most beautiful movie posters ever?

Last year was all about weddings for me. I had my own, and then I was a bridesmaid for 2 of my bridesmaids! 4 weddings in one year where you’re organising 1 yourself and you’re a big part of another 2 is exhausting, and now I have no weddings to go to this year. It’s kind of a relief, and kind of sad too, so I’ve been really looking forward to watching Table 19 and just sitting back, to enjoy the festivities.

Table 1 obviously hosts the Bride, Groom and parents, and the level of importance carries on right down the line to the very last table, in this case, 19. This is the table of ‘people who should have known to RSVP no’. We have the Best Man’s ex-girlfriend (Anna Kendrick), the Bride’s childhood nanny (June Squibb), someone’s odd cousin (Stephen Merchant), the son of a friend who’s mother is trying to get him laid (Tony Revolori) and a married couple from work who aren’t important enough for the work table (Lisa Kudrow and Craig Robinson).

If you’ve heard of this movie, you might have heard about the luke-warm reviews it’s been getting. I tried not to read too much in case it clouded my judgement but let me tell you, I actually kind of loved it. I’m biased because I have a huge lady boner for Anna Kendrick, but there’s so much more to this story than meets the eye. It looks like a simple enough plot, the table of losers realise they’re losers and find a way to have fun despite the fact – right?

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Well yes, but for a movie with such a small run time we really get inside each of these characters lives. There’s a huge plot line completely hidden in the trailer that I juuust worked out before the reveal, which adds a huge dramatic element to the whole thing. I’ll save the surprise for you to see for yourself.

It’s funny, in quite a dark way. Whereas a lot of movies struggle to find a balance between comedy and drama, I think Table 19 nailed it. Something will happen that will have you laughing out loud, and it’ll be followed so quickly by something serious that it completely throws you off balance. In fact, I was still laughing at parts despite the darkness. It’s overwhelming, and perhaps that contributes to the negative reviews, but I thought it fit the mood perfectly. That sounds contradicting I know, but in some movies you’ll have one hilarious scene, and 20 minutes later a serious, pull on your heart strings kind of scene, and it’s confusing. Table 19 fuses the two together.

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This joke about the jacket never got old. I’m laughing just thinking about it!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a perfect movie. It feels quite long despite its run time, there are a few loose ends here and there, and I feel like everyone got some closure with their issues apart from Stephen Merchant’s character. It’s quite over-dramatic and cheesy in places, but the whole movie is like that, so although those scenes don’t feel out of place in the grand scheme of things, if that kind of drama level is a turn off for you then you’re going to hate the whole thing.

Oh and one more thing – with my wedding organising hat still on – who was in charge of the running of the day here?! Sitting everyone down for their meal, having a band play, the married couple’s first dance, then sitting again? WHERE IS THE FOOD YOU GUYS.

All in all, I’d recommend that you ignore a lot of reviews (heck, even this one if you like) and see it for yourself. Who knows, you might even enjoy it! Table 19 gets 4 out of 5 wedding cakes from me, and I realise this is the second time this week I’ve rated movies out of cake, but I’m pregnant and I just really like cake, okay?

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Review: What to Expect When You’re Expecting (2012)

often-off-topic-pregnancy-announcementIf you don’t follow me on Instagram or Twitter (probably for the best) then you won’t know, but I’m pregnant! Argh! That still feels weird to admit, mainly because I’m currently pregnant enough for all my clothes to be uncomfortable but not pregnant enough for strangers to pick up on it, I just look like I ate too much at an all-you-can-eat buffet and didn’t get much sleep the night before.

Here’s the proof, anyway! I don’t have any weird cravings yet but what has seemed to happen is that I’ve lost my filter, so you’ll have to excuse my bluntness around here lately. I think I even surprised my Mum the other day. Maybe it’s actually my age, but I just don’t seem to feel the need to think before speaking out loud any more.

Anyway, you’re here for a review, so let me get started. To avoid the ‘advice’ and horror stories from friends and family, I instead turned to movies to find out more about what pregnancy might bring me. I thought What to Expect When You’re Expecting might bring me that.

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Attempting to follow that age old ‘Love Actually’ formula, this movie features 5 different couples and tells their pregnancy stories. The couples range from super wealthy and famous and their planned pregnancy, to a younger couple facing a dilemma after a one night stand. The cast is decent, with familiar faces such as Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Jennifer Lopez, Chris Rock and Joe Manganiello. Something for everyone!

The movie falls flat for 3 different reasons. Reason the 1st is the same problem all these ‘interconnecting stories’ kind of movies have, there are so many characters with so little time to develop them that as a viewer, I simply don’t care enough about them. In fact, the only character I really connected with was Rosie (Anna Kendrick) and her story was so sad that I wondered why I was sat crying during a comedy movie.

Which brings me to reason numero dos. Is this a comedy, a romance, or a drama? It’s all of them, and none of them. It has 3 great actors well known for their comedic roles (Anna Kendrick, Chris Rock & Rebel Wilson) and yet I didn’t laugh once. One storyline as I mentioned is heart-destroyingly (now I’m just making words up) upsetting, and as a pregnant lady with moods swings this entire movie threw me off balance.

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The last reason is that I didn’t really learn much about what to expect now I’m expecting, other than the fact that people are can be real a$$holes, and I kinda knew that already. Based on my own experiences so far, here’s what this movie was missing:

  • A character marvelling at how their breasts have doubled in size in just 3 months, and their joy in going bra shopping for the first time since they were 13.
  • At no point did I see any character need to pee like their life depend on it, and especially not 5 times in 1 hour.
  • Food featured heavily in this movie (I notice food all the time now) and yet no one felt the need to devour an entire sponge cake, or go completely off their favourite food.
  • No one told any character ‘Oh my gosh, you look more pregnant than the last time I saw you!’ followed up by said person receiving a fist to the face.
  • Also, no one revealed their pregnancy and got the reaction of ‘I knew you’d been eating loads lately!’ again followed up by said person receiving a fist to the face.

Pregnancy is wonderful, you guys. Unlike this movie. Which gets 2 sponge cakes out of 5 from me, because that’s probably all I could eat without being sick. Probably.

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Ultimate 90’s Blogathon: Liar Liar (1997)

Edit: I’m super late at posting this, because I fell off the planet last month. Nonetheless, you can see the original post at Drew’s Movie Reviews here, and see a recap of all of the entries for Drew and Kim‘s Ultimate 90’s Blogathon here!

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Last year two amazing bloggers, Drew at Drew’s Movie Reviews and Kim at Tranquil Dreams ran an Ultimate 80’s Blogathon. It was a huge success and I was so pleased when they announced an Ultimate 90’s Blogathon! A huge thank you to them both for letting me participate more than fashionably late, and if you aren’t following them already you really should be!

liar-liar-movie-review-ultimate-90sI would like to firstly apologise to the fans of great cinema, and the professional bloggers who will be discussing the fantastic movies made and released back in the 90’s. I’m not here to do that, I’m afraid. Instead, I’d like to talk about my all time favourite movies from that decade, which is when I was still a kid, and shelving my Disney movies to discover the comedy genre. I don’t know how my brother and I stumbled across this movie, but every weekend my brother and I would find the time to watch Liar Liar (1997).

You either love Jim Carey or you hate him, he has a very specific way of comedic delivery, but I’ve always loved his movies. Since really getting into movies, it’s rare that I ever rewatch anything, because I’m always on the hunt for something new, but to this day I think I could recite the entire script of Liar Liar to you.

What is it about? Well, it has one of the most generic scripts of all time. Fletcher Reede (Jim Carey) is a professional liar. Sorry, I mean lawyer. He’s a busy man of course, and doesn’t have enough time for his son Max (Justin Cooper) or wife Audrey (Maura Tierney), who he is separated from. Making things worse is Audrey’s new fella Jerry (Cary Elwes) who is just the worst. On Max’s birthday, when Fletcher fails to turn up despite promising to be there, Max makes a wish, and wishes that for just one day, his father cannot tell a lie.

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Cue the movie magic! Max’s wish comes true, leaving Fletcher unable to tell fibs. He’s now forced to tell the truth after an unsatisfying hookup, he tells a cop about the multitude of laws he broke when being pulled over, and tells a new starter in the lift at work that everyone’s only been nice to her because she has huge boobs. Whoops!

I wish there were more comedies like this being made. Yes, there’s some bad language in here (more than I thought actually, I can’t believe our parents let us watch this!) but so many recent comedies rely on nudity, drug trips or pop culture references to get laughs, and they just don’t age well at all. You can watch Liar Liar now, or in another 20 years time, and every single joke will still make sense and be funny. That’s what comedy should be all about!

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For me, it’s how quotable Liar Liar is that puts it up on the shelf of my all time favourites. Perhaps they’re inside jokes between my brother and I, but no one can hand either of us a piece of paper without us scrunching it up into a terrible attempt at an origami bird and saying “Mrs Cole…a goose!” Don’t give us a pen, either. We’ll tell you that the colour is rooooooooyaaaaaaal bluuuuuee. In fact, the more I think about it, don’t spend time with us when we’re together, we’re a bit weird.

Review: La La Land (2017)

la-la-land-review-2017-posterWhen the trailer first came out for La La Land, I felt torn. Yes, the movie was reuniting Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling, the most amazing on-screen couple EVER. But it was a musical. I don’t like musicals. That’s what I told people, I don’t ‘do’ musicals. Well, apart from every Disney movie ever made, The Muppets movie, my undying guilty love for High School Musical, and the musical Broadway show I saw on honeymoon. Hm. Turns out I’m a musical fan after all.

Once I’d come to terms with this, I was hyping so much it literally hurt. With every review that cropped up in my feed, I felt a twinge of jealousy that one more person had seen it, whilst I was still waiting. Yet when my time came, I was terrified. When you’ve been looking forward to something for so long, and literally everyone has said how amazing it is (apart from someone on my Facebook feed who shall remain anonymous) you just get this feeling, what if I don’t enjoy it?

I shouldn’t have worried. I know that now. Mercifully, my worry vanished in the opening scene, when a highway full of stand still traffic burst into song about how how much of a beautiful and sunny day it is. People were dancing on top of their cars, a band was playing from the inside of a lorry, and everything was just so colourful. I was grinning from ear to ear, and then Ryan Gosling blared that car horn and I fell in love. To me, Ryan Gosling blaring a car horn is the equivalent to that boombox scene in Say Anything!

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Love is the theme here in La La Land. Love for your hometown, for your family and friends, for your dreams. Mia (Emma Stone) is an actress working at a coffee shop at the Warner Bros Studio, attending audition after audition to try and catch her big break. Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) is a struggling musician playing piano at a jazz bar ran by a guy named Bill (J.K. Simmons) who has no appreciation for the music genre. Knowing that La La Land is directed by Damien Chazelle who also directed Whiplash, I wanted so badly for Bill to tell Seb that the music ‘wasn’t his tempo’, but complaining about it general kept me happy enough!

Watching Mia and Seb go from hating each other to loving each other was just so much fun to watch. The scene at the pool party was a favourite of mine, my husband and I were laughing so much I that I think we got a few funny looks for finding it a little too funny. Their musical number whilst walking to find Mia’s car was utter perfection, with the sarcastic comebacks going back and forth. It’s one of those songs you find yourself tapping your feet to without even noticing.

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Ugh, I could honestly gush about this movie for hours if I was given the chance. Just give it all the awards, please. The cinematography was stunning, the costumes were a delight (I would kill for Mia’s wardrobe, and my husband wants some of those shoes Seb wore!) and the ending was so bittersweet. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying in the end, I didn’t know whether I was happy or sad.

It was nights like that night that I was so grateful for Spotify, because I stuck the soundtrack on as soon as we got into the car. It was just a shame home was only 10 minutes away! A full 5/5 chicken on sticks from me.

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