Review: Table 19 (2017)

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Can we at least agree this is one of the most beautiful movie posters ever?

Last year was all about weddings for me. I had my own, and then I was a bridesmaid for 2 of my bridesmaids! 4 weddings in one year where you’re organising 1 yourself and you’re a big part of another 2 is exhausting, and now I have no weddings to go to this year. It’s kind of a relief, and kind of sad too, so I’ve been really looking forward to watching Table 19 and just sitting back, to enjoy the festivities.

Table 1 obviously hosts the Bride, Groom and parents, and the level of importance carries on right down the line to the very last table, in this case, 19. This is the table of ‘people who should have known to RSVP no’. We have the Best Man’s ex-girlfriend (Anna Kendrick), the Bride’s childhood nanny (June Squibb), someone’s odd cousin (Stephen Merchant), the son of a friend who’s mother is trying to get him laid (Tony Revolori) and a married couple from work who aren’t important enough for the work table (Lisa Kudrow and Craig Robinson).

If you’ve heard of this movie, you might have heard about the luke-warm reviews it’s been getting. I tried not to read too much in case it clouded my judgement but let me tell you, I actually kind of loved it. I’m biased because I have a huge lady boner for Anna Kendrick, but there’s so much more to this story than meets the eye. It looks like a simple enough plot, the table of losers realise they’re losers and find a way to have fun despite the fact – right?

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Well yes, but for a movie with such a small run time we really get inside each of these characters lives. There’s a huge plot line completely hidden in the trailer that I juuust worked out before the reveal, which adds a huge dramatic element to the whole thing. I’ll save the surprise for you to see for yourself.

It’s funny, in quite a dark way. Whereas a lot of movies struggle to find a balance between comedy and drama, I think Table 19 nailed it. Something will happen that will have you laughing out loud, and it’ll be followed so quickly by something serious that it completely throws you off balance. In fact, I was still laughing at parts despite the darkness. It’s overwhelming, and perhaps that contributes to the negative reviews, but I thought it fit the mood perfectly. That sounds contradicting I know, but in some movies you’ll have one hilarious scene, and 20 minutes later a serious, pull on your heart strings kind of scene, and it’s confusing. Table 19 fuses the two together.

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This joke about the jacket never got old. I’m laughing just thinking about it!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a perfect movie. It feels quite long despite its run time, there are a few loose ends here and there, and I feel like everyone got some closure with their issues apart from Stephen Merchant’s character. It’s quite over-dramatic and cheesy in places, but the whole movie is like that, so although those scenes don’t feel out of place in the grand scheme of things, if that kind of drama level is a turn off for you then you’re going to hate the whole thing.

Oh and one more thing – with my wedding organising hat still on – who was in charge of the running of the day here?! Sitting everyone down for their meal, having a band play, the married couple’s first dance, then sitting again? WHERE IS THE FOOD YOU GUYS.

All in all, I’d recommend that you ignore a lot of reviews (heck, even this one if you like) and see it for yourself. Who knows, you might even enjoy it! Table 19 gets 4 out of 5 wedding cakes from me, and I realise this is the second time this week I’ve rated movies out of cake, but I’m pregnant and I just really like cake, okay?

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Review: What to Expect When You’re Expecting (2012)

often-off-topic-pregnancy-announcementIf you don’t follow me on Instagram or Twitter (probably for the best) then you won’t know, but I’m pregnant! Argh! That still feels weird to admit, mainly because I’m currently pregnant enough for all my clothes to be uncomfortable but not pregnant enough for strangers to pick up on it, I just look like I ate too much at an all-you-can-eat buffet and didn’t get much sleep the night before.

Here’s the proof, anyway! I don’t have any weird cravings yet but what has seemed to happen is that I’ve lost my filter, so you’ll have to excuse my bluntness around here lately. I think I even surprised my Mum the other day. Maybe it’s actually my age, but I just don’t seem to feel the need to think before speaking out loud any more.

Anyway, you’re here for a review, so let me get started. To avoid the ‘advice’ and horror stories from friends and family, I instead turned to movies to find out more about what pregnancy might bring me. I thought What to Expect When You’re Expecting might bring me that.

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Attempting to follow that age old ‘Love Actually’ formula, this movie features 5 different couples and tells their pregnancy stories. The couples range from super wealthy and famous and their planned pregnancy, to a younger couple facing a dilemma after a one night stand. The cast is decent, with familiar faces such as Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks, Anna Kendrick, Jennifer Lopez, Chris Rock and Joe Manganiello. Something for everyone!

The movie falls flat for 3 different reasons. Reason the 1st is the same problem all these ‘interconnecting stories’ kind of movies have, there are so many characters with so little time to develop them that as a viewer, I simply don’t care enough about them. In fact, the only character I really connected with was Rosie (Anna Kendrick) and her story was so sad that I wondered why I was sat crying during a comedy movie.

Which brings me to reason numero dos. Is this a comedy, a romance, or a drama? It’s all of them, and none of them. It has 3 great actors well known for their comedic roles (Anna Kendrick, Chris Rock & Rebel Wilson) and yet I didn’t laugh once. One storyline as I mentioned is heart-destroyingly (now I’m just making words up) upsetting, and as a pregnant lady with moods swings this entire movie threw me off balance.

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The last reason is that I didn’t really learn much about what to expect now I’m expecting, other than the fact that people are can be real a$$holes, and I kinda knew that already. Based on my own experiences so far, here’s what this movie was missing:

  • A character marvelling at how their breasts have doubled in size in just 3 months, and their joy in going bra shopping for the first time since they were 13.
  • At no point did I see any character need to pee like their life depend on it, and especially not 5 times in 1 hour.
  • Food featured heavily in this movie (I notice food all the time now) and yet no one felt the need to devour an entire sponge cake, or go completely off their favourite food.
  • No one told any character ‘Oh my gosh, you look more pregnant than the last time I saw you!’ followed up by said person receiving a fist to the face.
  • Also, no one revealed their pregnancy and got the reaction of ‘I knew you’d been eating loads lately!’ again followed up by said person receiving a fist to the face.

Pregnancy is wonderful, you guys. Unlike this movie. Which gets 2 sponge cakes out of 5 from me, because that’s probably all I could eat without being sick. Probably.

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Going Off Topic (#2) I need a Panic Room of my own!

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I watched Panic Room last night for the first time. It’s a movie I’ve been dying to see for ages, because I’ve lost count of the amount of people who have recommended it to me. For some reason, when I tell them the kind of movies I like, this is the first thing that springs to mind. So, I enjoyed the movie plenty, but I think I expected more? I guess I know how the people disappointed with La La Land feel.

Now I’m sounding ungrateful, I know. It was a very suspenseful movie and if I saw it at the cinema I would have been wetting myself. It was also one of the very few roles that I liked Jared Leto in, and has got to (surely?) be the only movie Kristen Stewart has been in that she hasn’t been given stick for!

This week I feel like I could do with a Panic Room of my own to hide out in. Doesn’t it suck when the actual real world and adult responsibilities gets in the way of having fun, watching movies, and blogging? I hope I can tell you more soon, but the house move is progressing rather quickly! We had a meeting with our Solicitor to go through the contracts and we had to pretend that we knew what he was talking about, so we nodded at the right moments, frowned in thought often and signed our lives away several times.

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Now we just have to wait for a date! Meanwhile, we should be packing, but ain’t nobody got time for that? It’s best to wait till moving day and just throw everything into a van, right?

In movie news, if you have a Netflix subscription and you haven’t watched Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy, Valentine’s Day Special yet, you really ought to. I was hooked from the first musical number about Christmas being only 10 months away. I also watched The Founder which I enjoyed more than I thought I would. Man was I craving a cheeseburger the whole time though. We had to head straight to a family birthday party when it finished and I came so close to taking a detour it’s not even funny.

I’m behind on book reviews, because I’ve finished Truly Madly Guilty by Liane Moriarty and started on Scrappy Little Nobody by Anna Kendrick. Truly Madly Guilty is one of the most frustrating books I think I’ll ever read, but the payoff at the end made it worth it. I think. I’m not sure how to review it without sounding like I hated though, so watch this space, and don’t ever take me seriously. The mere mention of the word barbecue probably brings my Husband out in a rash, because he was the one to face my daily rants whilst reading that book. Sorry, honey.

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Enough about me though. Apologies to my favourite bloggers who’s posts I’ve missed, but I’ve been catching up over the weekend and I’ll be back in full force soon enough. Here are some of the great posts I’ve read lately:

Natasha at Life of this City Girl reviews my favourite movie of 2016, Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

Mickey at Our Movie Life shares 10 Hollywood Celebrities he’d like to have dinner with. I feel like a list of my own coming soon!

Brittani at Rambling Film has cast her 2017 Oscar Predictions. I won’t be able to watch this year so I’ll look forward to her reactions post!

Sean at Assholes Watching Movies was later to the John Wick game than me, but he’s seen and reviewed John Wick 2 already, so we’ll call it a draw.