The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

the-spy-who-dumped-me-poster-movieDirector: Susanna Fogel

Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime

Runtime: 117 Minutes

Main Cast: Mila Kunis, Kate McKinnon, Justin Theroux, Sam Heughan, Hasan Minhaj, Kev Adams, Gillian Anderson, Ivanna Sakhno

Plot: Best friends Audrey and Morgan find themselves in the middle of an international terrorist conspiracy when Audrey learns that her ex-boyfriend is, in fact, a spy.

My Thoughts: After watching the reboot of Ghostbusters I realised I would blindly follow Kate McKinnon into whatever movies she happened to star in afterward. That said, I didn’t need much convincing to see The Spy Who Dumped Me, it ticks all of my Comedy boxes!

It’s always a worry with Comedies when the trailer makes the movie look so darn funny. Is it a good sign of what’s to come, or is it a case that the only funny jokes have all been crammed into the trailer, leaving nothing good left to look forward to? I’d say this movie sits comfortably in the middle of those two scenarios. Kate McKinnon and Mila Kunis gel so well together, and I would love to see them in another comedy, but this one won’t be in anyone’s Top 10 of the year.

It had plenty of laugh out loud moments, but it’s at least 20 minutes too long, so the laughs are spread out between a heck of a lot of plot. The twists come at you almost as quickly as the jokes do, most of them obvious but it did leave me guessing a few times. I think if you’re looking for a Comedy with a spy theme you’re better off watching Spy (2015), but I do still recommend The Spy Who Dumped Me!

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Best Bit: The scene with the Cab/Taxi/Uber driver Lukas. You know when you come out of the cinema after watching something like Mission: Impossible or Fast & Furious and you want to drive home like you’re in the movie? (Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who feels like this) Lukas gets to live out that fantasy!

Worst Bit: Towards the end at the big flashy event, the scene with the trapeze act fell a bit flat, I thought. It was just a little too silly, and seemed to go on forever!

Fun Trivia: The movie “Red Sparrow” shot footage in the same Budapest café that was used in “The Spy Who Dumped Me.” After “Red Sparrow” finished filming, director Susanna Fogel said that there were plans to tear down the café in order to renovate the building, but they offered to let “The Spy Who Dumped Me” destroy it first.

My Rating: 3 out of 5 lipsticks from me. Don’t open them though…you might not like what you find inside. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

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Venom (2018)

venom-movie-poster-2018-reviewDirector: Ruben Fleischer

Genre: Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller

Runtime: 112 Minutes

Main Cast: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed, Jenny Slate, Scott Haze, Reid Scott, Woody Harrelson, Peggy Lu, Sope Aluko, Wayne Pére

Plot: Eddie Brock, a once-famed reporter loses everything after trying to reveal the truth behind the ethically immoral work of Dr. Carlton Drake. After acquiring the powers of a symbiote – Eddie has to work with Venom in order to make things right.

My Thoughts: I almost skipped seeing this movie, and that would have been a huge mistake! See, when Suicide Squad came out, the critics hated it, but audiences loved it (apparently?). The same happened with Batman V Superman. I wasn’t impressed with either, and so when Venom received the same verdict, I got put off. Thank you, Twitter though, because I left it to a vote and you guys did not disappoint!

I’m reasonably well-versed in comics and superheroes but knew nothing about Venom. I haven’t even seen Spider-Man 3 so I literally knew nothing, so as far as comic-accuracy is concerned, I can’t comment. I also refuse to check this with my husband after he mocked me for pronouncing symbiote wrong – he’s such a nerd.

Anyway – I had such a fun time at the cinema seeing this. Yes, it takes far too long to get going, yes, the plot has several issues and contradicts itself. But! The action is wild, the humor is thick and fast when it finally arrives, and it was memorable for all the right reasons, and I absolutely cannot wait to see it again! Can Tom Hardy please do more lighter roles like this, please?

The team responsible for putting the trailer together for Venom need firing. They chose a scene to showcase the humorous side of the movie which is right at the very end, and without getting to know Venom it came across so weird and awkward, but when you see the movie and you have the context – it works! Thankfully more and more movie fans seem to be ignoring the critics, so fingers crossed we’ll be getting a sequel.

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Best Bit: It’s so hard to pick one because most of the Venom moments are hilarious. I think my personal favorite is Venom daring Eddie to jump out of the building, and then calling him a pussy for opting for the elevator instead. Also lobsters.

Worst Bit: The chicken. The eating of the chicken. I’ve dealt with enough sickness bugs over the last few weeks to stomach that scene. I’m genuinely feeling quite ill even thinking about it.

Fun Trivia: Tom Hardy’s son Louis Thomas Hardy is a fan of Venom, and Hardy took the role to please him: “I wanted to do something my son could watch. So I did something where I bite people’s heads off.” Louis also guided his father on how to appropriately portray Brock/Venom, since Hardy didn’t know the character very well.

My Rating: 4 out of 5 turds in the wind!

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The Meg (2018)

the-meg-movie-poster-review-2018 (1)Director: Jon Turteltaub

Genre: Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

Runtime: 113 Minutes

Main Cast: Jason Statham, Bingbing Li, Rainn Wilson, Cliff Curtis, Winston Chao, Shuya Sophia Cai, Ruby Rose, Page Kennedy, Robert Taylor, Jessica McNamee, Masi Oka

Plot: 5 years ago, expert diver Jonas Taylor encountered an unknown danger in the Mariana Trench. He was forced to abort his mission and abandon his crew, costing him his career, his marriage, and his honour. Now the danger is back, and he is the only person who can save the day. (I can taste the cheese just by typing this)

My Thoughts: I’m so late writing this review, I watched it just over a week ago! It’s given me a good amount of time to think on my feelings about it though, and I honestly really enjoyed it. I haven’t seen many Statham movies at all (can anyone recommend one?) but I knew exactly what to expect going in, and that’s exactly what I got.

The trailer sold it perfectly I think. This is Jason Statham versus a giant, ancient shark. There’s action all over the place, the pace barely slows down, and the story is so, so cheesy. But it works! I guiltily enjoy the Sharknado movies because they’re so terrible you can’t help but love them a bit, but they are stupid as hell. The Meg isn’t like that. It his it’s similarities for sure but it’s more plausible, it’s 1,000 times better made, and I would quite happily watch it again.

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Best Bit: The little girl, Meiying, was a total bad-ass. Not only was her fashion on point (I wish I could rock a hoodie with wings) she was smart as hell and an absolute sass queen. Jason Statham pretending to be Dory (just keep swimming, just keep swimming) was definitely a highlight for me too.

Worst Bit: Ruby Rose. Ugh. I quite liked her in OitNB, but what was the point in her being here? Why was her hair just wet all the time? Seriously, at one point she fell into the water and came out looking exactly the same. Plus my 10 month old can fake cry better than she can. Boooooooring.

Fun Trivia: Eli Roth was attached as director before being replaced by Jon Turteltaub. Roth left due to creative differences with the studio, namely that he wanted the film to maintain both its R-rating and a $150 million budget. It was also rumored that Roth, on top of writing and directing, also wanted to play the lead role of Jonas, but the studio believed he did not have the star power.

My Rating: 3 and a half rubber rings! I’ll be using mine in the pool though, where it’s safe…

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How It Ends (2018)

how-it-ends-movie-review-2018Director: David M. Rosenthal

Genre: Action, Adventure, Drama

Runtime: 113 Minutes

Main Cast: Theo James, Kat Graham, Grace Dove, Nancy Sorel, Nicole Ari Parker, Forest Whitaker, Aaron Hughes, Lanie McAuley, Josh Cruddas, Aidan Ritchie

Plot: Will and Samantha are having a baby. They’re also getting married, but Samantha’s Dad doesn’t know. When Will flies out to ask his disapproving future Father-in-Law for his blessing, an unknown apocalyptic event takes place in Seattle. Will and Samantha’s Dad end up on a road trip across the States to rescue her.

My Thoughts: This movie is hilariously bad. Most ‘end of the world’ movies are, but at the very least they’re entertaining to watch. I don’t know how this one managed to be so darn boring, but I was dying to know how it ended, so that I could move on and get on with my life, mourning my lost 2 hours. Too bad How It Ends has the most ironic title ever…

At first glance it’s hard to tell that it’s a terrible movie. It starts out fine, sets the scene perfectly, introduces it’s main characters well. The acting, whilst non award-worthy, is absolutely fine and the cinematography is pretty good too. The problem is that nothing at all makes sense! 2 days into having no internet connection and the population have turned into characters from Mad Max. Absolutely everyone out on the road is out for blood. Why?

Not to mention all the unexplained moments. Where did Samantha’s Mum go? Ricki, the duo’s car fixer upper, what happened to her? What even is this apocalyptic event? I’m all for a movie that leaves you with questions, but this is ridiculous. You know when you were a kid and you would write stories but get bored after a while and end it with ‘and then they woke up and realised it was all a dream’? That would have been a better ending. Heck, it would have been an ENDING.

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Best Bit: Ricki. That chick is a badass. I don’t know about anyone else but I know for sure she’ll survive somehow.

Worst Bit: “Oh no, my car has run out of fuel. I KNOW. I’ll get this full jerry can of fuel out the boot, pour it all over the car, set it on fire and walk the rest of the way.”

Fun Trivia: The Arlington Bridge in Winnipeg Manitoba Canada, shown in some of the scenes, is 105 years old. It was open on February 5th 1912.

My Rating: One and a half out of five jerry cans. If nothing else, having to Google ‘what is the container you store spare fuel in called’ for this post has at least added to my vocabulary!

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Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

antman-and-the-wasp-movie-poster-2018Director: Peyton Reed

Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Comedy

Runtime: 118 Minutes

Main Cast: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Peña, Walton Goggins, Bobby Cannavale, Judy Greer, Hannah John-Kamen, Randall Park, Michelle Pfeiffer, Laurence Fishburne, Michael Douglas

Plot: Scott Lang has been placed on house arrest after the events of Civil War. During this time, Hope and Hank think they have found a way to locate and rescue Hope’s mother, the original Wasp.

My Thoughts: On Monday night I went to a secret screening at my local Odeon, the first of it’s kind that I’d ever been to. I immediately felt at home as you could only book onto the screening if you were a Limitless card holder, so there were quite a few other people on solo trips like me. The whole room cheered once we realised we were getting to see Ant-Man and the Wasp a few days early! I realise practically the whole world has seen it by now, but us tea-loving folk have to wait for ages sometimes.

I don’t know if the excitement did it, but I absolutely loved every minute of this movie. Paul Rudd is just utterly adorable. Evangeline Lilly kicked ass every time she was on screen. Michael Peña is just a delight. Thanks to the ‘powers’ that Ant-Man and Wasp use, the action scenes are just so different to every other movie out there, and the gimmick doesn’t get old, for me at least.

There were turns in the plot that I didn’t see coming, there were heartwarming moments, I laughed out loud several times. What more can you ask for from a movie? I’ve seen reviews mentioning a wafer-thin plot and a bit of a pointless villain but it didn’t taint the movie for me. You can stick Ant-Man right next to Doctor Strange at the top of my favourite Marvel heroes list!

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Best Bit: The moment I was waiting for – Luis telling a story in his own special way. It only happened once but oh it was so worth it. I laughed so loud I missed half of what was said!

Worst Bit: There weren’t any bad moments, but I ended up watching no less than 3 different trailers for the movie over the last few months so there were so many moments that didn’t have much of an impact for me because I’d already watched them 20 times.

Fun Trivia: Contrary to initial appearances, the Pym’s laboratory building is not an actual building that can be shrunk to the size of a suitcase. On the contrary, that small size is the original size of the object. It has been built of brick construction pieces and miniature models of equipment such as AA batteries for a power source etc., and has been enlarged to a full-size building when the owners wish to enter it without changing their own size.

My Rating: 4 and a half out of 5 playing cards, which will come in handy when I find the time to learn close-up magic tricks!

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