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Top 10 Captain Raymond Holt Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is one of my favourite TV Shows, one that I am dreadfully behind on right now. I plan to correct that as soon as possible, especially after it was shockingly cancelled earlier this year only to be rescued by Netflix almost immediately!

Captain Raymond Holt is without a doubt my favourite character, and as today is Andre Braugher’s birthday, today seemed the perfect day to share my favourite Raymond Holt quotes! Here they are, in no particular order…

#1 Whilst watching a dog show

[chuckles] A bold personality.
We know what that’s code for.
She’s a bitch.

#2 When he finally embraced the joy of codenames

VELVET THUNDER!

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#3 When he had to pretend to be straight whilst undercover

[You keep talking about her thigh gap]
That’s my favourite part of a woman.
There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.

#4 When we found out his thoughts on the sky

[Would you tell the sky to stop being so blue?]
Yes. I wish it were tan.
[What?]
It’s my favourite color. It’s no-nonsense.

#5 When he tried to raise the team’s morale

Why is no one having a good time?
I specifically requested it.

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#6 When he insulted Madeline Wunch (on one of many occasions)

[Hello, Raymond. How do you like my new office? Twentieth floor.]
Yes, I never thought I’d see you this high without a broom under you.

#7 When he embraced his childhood

[I was trying to lighten the mood. The squad’s been stressed since these drills started. Plus, you ordered me to act like a seven-year-old. Seven-year-olds like to have fun.]
That’s true. When I was seven, I used to sneak into my father’s office to see his collection of antique globes.

#8 When he was the friend we all need

Any basic bitch would be lucky to be like you.

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#9 When he could not even

[My trip here from the train station hey, I swear to you I heard the cab driver mumble under his breath, “You will die tonight.” Is that not the most insane thing you have ever heard? I mean, can you even, Raymond?]
I cannot even.

#10 When he didn’t care for lunch

[Joining us for lunch, Sir?]
Oh, no, I’ve already consumed the required calories for this day period.
[Yummy.]

So tell me, because I could have quite easily made this a Top 50 list, heck I could do a Top 10 simply of Wunch insults, what’s your favourite Captain Raymond Holt quote?

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My Current ‘Must Watch’ List

Every movie fan has a list of movies somewhere that they need to watch, whether it’s kept on their phone, scribbled on a piece of paper or simply stored in their memory. As a bit of a nerd for organisation, I’ve been loving using Letterboxd for the past couple of years as an information source and a diary of what I’ve seen. It also has a Watchlist feature which I’ve been adding to for a long time now!

It’s gotten to the point now where there are so many movies in this list, that when I have the free time to watch something, I can’t decide between them, and so some of them have been on this list for over 2 years!

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Some of them are classics I’ve been meaning to see for too long, some are movies I know will be terrible but I like the cast, and many are ones that have grabbed my interest from reviews I’ve read by other bloggers. There are also some that haven’t been released yet in the UK, but I don’t want to forget about them.

So to resolve my issue of an ever-growing list, I’ve vowed to watch all these movies by the end of the year. Of course, my list will have more added to it, but I’ll watch the current list in full by New Year’s! In fact, I think I’ll turn this post into a blog page and hyperlink my posts as I complete them!

Here’s the list in full…

Short Term 12 (2013)

Rushmore (1998)

The Neon Demon (2016)

Maggie’s Plan (2015)

Moonlight Mile (2002)

The Shallows (2016)

The Purge: Election Year (2016)

Café Society (2016)

Frank & Lola (2016)

I, Daniel Blake (2016)

Pete’s Dragon (2016)

Demolition (2015)

Away We Go (2009)

Odd Thomas (2013)

It Comes at Night (2017)

As You Are (2016)

Your Name. (2016)

L.A. Confidential (1997)

Secret Window (2004)

I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore (2017)

The Salesman (2016)

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

The Drop (2014)

Unicorn Store (2017)

Detroit (2017)

Stronger (2017)

Certain Women (2016)

Isle of Dogs (2018)

Office Christmas Party (2017)

A Wrinkle in Time (2018)

Upgrade (2018)

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

Hotel Artemis (2018)

Traitor (2008)

Before I Go to Sleep (2014)

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

The Matrix (1999)

Mommy (2014)

If you’re still reading at this point – what do you recommend I should see first?

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Top 5 Impractical Jokers Punishments

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Here on the little island of the UK exists a TV channel by the name of Comedy Central. It only ever seems to air 2 different shows, Friends and Impractical Jokers. As someone on maternity leave till July who refuses to watch kids shows all day, you can imagine that I’ve been watching a lot of Impractical Jokers! I love it though, it has the perfect amount of cringe to be hilarious, and it’s the kind of show you don’t need to give your full attention to.

In their very own words, Impractical Jokers is a programme which contains scenes of graphic stupidity among four lifelong friends who compete to embarrass each other. Essentially, the four guys (Sal, Q, Murr and Joe) dare each other to do stupid things, or to say stupid things in different scenarios. If you refuse, you lose, and whoever has the most losses at the end of the show has to complete a punishment.

These punishments are sometimes small as simple. such as having to pick up and carry dog poo. Sometimes they’re huge, like getting married to someone’s sister, and sometimes they’re just plain outrageous, like getting mystery tattoos. They’re always funny though, so I thought I would pay tribute to my current favourite show by doing a Top 5 List of my favourite ones. Let the countdown begin…

#5 Sal Playing Bingo

In a huge room full of serious bingo players, Sal was forced to get up and shout ‘Bingo’ every time one of the other guys told him too. What started out as slightly cringy took a turn for the worst when the crowd turned nasty!

#4 Imagine Dragons Concert

Sal and Joe were made to get on stage as the opening act for Imagine Dragons. Dressed not dissimilar to the guys from LMFAO, their songs included ‘Shut Your Face Grandma’ and ended with Sal attempting to crowd surf. I wish I was there!

#3 Sal’s Haunted House Visit

As a huge wuss myself, I totally felt Sal’s pain when he was forced to walk through a haunted house. Featuring horrors such as a creepy girl playing the piano, an old woman chanting in a rocking chair and a moving body bag, I would have noped the hell out of there!

#2 Murr at the Racetrack

Never have I cringed so hard as when Murr was given the punishment of selling concessions at the racetrack, but not being allowed to give any change. It was bad enough to see him just walk away with the change, but when a woman and her husband started to chase Murr down, I actually wanted the ground to swallow me up.

#1 Who’s Phone is Ringing?

Without a doubt, the best punishment was when Sal was made to sit in the audience of a small book reading session, having been told that he’s not allowed to answer his phone when it rings, or turn it off. Every few minutes the guys ring his phone and the ringtone loudly plays ‘Who’s phone is ringing? Mine! Mine!”. The crowd turn nasty, and right at the end Sal takes his turn on stage to present his own book, ‘Silence is Golden’.

 

I’ve just now realised that nearly all of these contain Sal…is he subconsciously my favourite joker or does he just lose a lot? Either way – if you watch the show too I’d love to know what your favourite punishment has been!

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My 10 Favourite Cinema Experiences

As a movie blogger, I feel a certain sense of responsibility to promote the cinema and the joy of watching the latest releases on the big screen. However, sometimes life just gets in the way, money is running low, and hey presto, you’ve got a 6-month old baby who’s not going to make a great cinema companion, and you’re stuck at home with Netflix instead. It’s not all bad of course, but I do miss my weekly cinema trips a bit. My friends and family are more caught up than I am lately!

So with all that in mind, I thought it might be a nice time to look back at some of my favourite experiences at the cinema. Of course, all lists need to be neat and even, so I chose 10. In no particular order…

#10 The Force Awakens (2015)

After finally realising just how amazing Star Wars is at the ripe age of 26, I was so excited to see The Force Awakens just before Christmas with my family. I steered clear of all social media for about 4 days I think, which is unsettlingly one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The cinema we went to put on an amazing show as we took selfies with Stormtroopers as they escorted us to our screen!

#9 Elf (2003)

My poor brother Rich has his birthday in the middle of January, and in the UK it’s such a rubbish month to actually do anything. You can’t have a BBQ, none of the theme parks have opened yet and the weather is guaranteed to ruin any trip out. For his (I think) 8th Birthday, myself, him, our Mum and a handful of his friends went to see Elf. Around 3 weeks after Christmas. Safe to say the screen was empty – but it’s the only time that’s ever happened to me!

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#8 Gone Girl (2014)

I think we saw this on the opening weekend, because the screen was packed, and I think packed with people who hadn’t read the book, just like us. The moment that plot twist hits is an amazing moment on its own, but the audible gasps of over 100 people at the same time was pretty awesome.

#7 Sherlock: The Final Problem (2017)

This feels so much longer than last year! But yes, our cinema put on a screening of the last episode of Season 4. We even got some bonus footage beforehand which was pretty cool. This is memorable though because of my Mum bringing in a tiny bottle of Prosecco along with a plastic champagne flute, which she promptly dropped on the floor with a clang during a very quiet moment. Oh, Mum.

#6 Avatar (2009)

You know, I’ve only ever seen Avatar once. I feel like the world raved about it when it first came out, but 9 years later everyone kind of hates it. I should watch it again really to decide for myself! But anyway, Avatar was my first IMAX experience, and if you know me at all you’ll know how much I love IMAX!

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#5 Spy Kids 3: Game Over (2003)

Bet you didn’t expect to see this is any ‘Favourite’ list did you? Spy Kids 3 was the first time I took my brother Rich to the cinema without any parental supervision! We had such a funny time and we still joke about it to this day. In case you’re wondering, Johnny English (2003) was our second visit.

#4 Twilight (All of them!)

Spy Kids and Twilight in a list together? Only here! Yes, I saw every Twilight movie at the cinema. Not only that, but all of them were midnight screenings too. With my Mum! I’m so rock and roll aren’t I? If you’ve ever done a midnight screening though you’ll know what I mean. There’s just something a bit special about not getting into bed till 3am and going to work the next day tired…but without a hangover.

#3 Marley & Me (2008)

Here’s another movie I’ve only seen once. For a different reason this time though. Marley & Me made me cry like no movie has ever before. I didn’t even like dogs at that time either, so goodness knows what it would do to me now. This trip will always be memorable for the moment during the credits when the lights came on, and every person in that room tried to hide the fact they were sobbing their heart out.

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#2 Horrible Bosses (2011)

I can’t talk enough about Horrible Bosses. It’s my favourite modern comedy ever, and I don’t think I could really explain why. It just tickles me. Anyway! When we saw this it was opening night in a full screen. Seeing a comedy in the cinema is always special because no-one feels weird about laughing out loud. We all also collectively pooped ourselves when that cat jumped out of nowhere!

#1 Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)

This is making me laugh the more I think about it. Sweeney Todd is the first movie my husband and I saw together when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. In fact, we might even have just been friends at the time. Actually – we might have even seen it on Valentine’s Day! Anyway – what I find so funny about it is that both of us hate horror movies. I don’t mind them as much now of course but at the time – why did we see this? I need to ask him…

That’s enough from me for one day but I’d really like to know…what’s your favourite cinema experience?

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My 5 Least Favourite Movies of 2017

You can’t have a ‘Favourites of 2017‘ list without a Least Favourites one, right? This one was more difficult to put together to be honest, because having less time for movies generally means you avoid ones you know you aren’t going to enjoy. That said, this list was originally 8, but that doesn’t sit well with me, so a few movies had a lucky escape from being included.

I would say these 5 movies aren’t technically bad, they just massively disappointed me. That’s kind of worse, isn’t it? It’s like when your parents or teachers aren’t mad at you, they’re disappointed in you. That shame sticks with you!

But anyway, let’s kick off…

5. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

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Is it commonly accepted that the first Pirates movie was cool as hell? I hope it is, because it’s true. But it’s a franchise that’s been used too much now, and this one just didn’t excite me at all. Doesn’t help that I’ve missed one of them along the way either!

4. Home Again

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Normally I’m totally down for a rom com starring Reese Witherspoon and 3 hot guys, but Home Again was just lame. I didn’t care about any of the characters, so it all got real boring real fast. Stick with This Means War!

3. Fist Fight

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Now I’m mad. Fist Fight had all the right ingredients to be a half decent comedy that you might rewatch on rainy days, but the only remotely funny parts were all in the trailer. Plus, why on God’s green earth was it called Fist Fight when the saying in the movie is Teacher Fight?!

2. The Dark Tower

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UGH. Matthew McConaughey just RUBS me up the wrong way. I don’t know if I would have enjoyed The Dark Tower if he wasn’t in it, but it was mediocre at best. Plus it has the worst dialogue…
“Did you miss me?”
*shoots and misses*
“I guess you did”
UGH.

1. Song to Song

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One of my most hated movies ever. 2 whole hours where no scene lasts longer than 5 seconds, no one smiles, nothing makes sense. It has the most amazing cast and still sucked. Not even Ryan Gosling making a turkey out of a napkin could save this for me.

So tell me guys, what was your most disappointing or hated movie of 2017?