Oh you guys, this week has just been the worst. I’ll give you the option to just close this tab now, because honestly, this post is here more because I find it therapeutic to write about rather than talk about. It’s nothing movie related, and it’s not very interesting either, but it’s all about one of the worst weeks of my life. Normal blog posts will resume shortly…I hope!
Where to begin? It was on the Thursday. I had to take our little one for her 16 week immunisations in the morning. They’re horrible, she had 2 jabs in one thigh and another jab in the other and oh, she cried. She stayed grisly for the rest of the day, and then it came to nighttime. I think we’ve been quite lucky really, she has a feed around 4-5am but otherwise sleeps through the night. Not this time though. She was up at midnight wanting a feed, as well as her usual.
Actually, I need to rewind a little further. I’d asked my husband to book a couple of days off work that week anyway as I’d been really struggling by myself and could really do with his company (and help!) just to recharge myself a little. It was great, those two days, but as soon as he went back to work it all fell apart again. I’ve struggled emotionally ever since our little girl was born, I lost a lot of my pregnancy weight in the first week because I had no apetite at all, and I cried spontaneously for at least the first month. Things started to get a little better, there would be the occasional bad day, but nothing out of the ordinary. 4 months down the line though, I don’t know at what point it happened, but every day was a bad day.
I just found everything difficult, and couldn’t enjoy the things I used to. It’s hard to explain to be honest. That Thursday was my breaking point, and I booked myself an appointment to see a doctor the next morning.
The doctor was really helpful and asked me a whole bunch of questions, and I was nervous to answer them all. I told her about how I felt like each day’s goal was to just survive and make it to bedtime, just to start all over again, and when she asked me how I felt about the future I realised just how bad I was truly feeling. Long story short, I’ve been diagnosed with Post-Natal Depression and been put onto medication to help me out.
That’s great and all but the horrible thing about these tablets is how ill they make you feel. I was told I’d feel sick and tired, and I might go off my food, but for the first 4-5 days all I ate each day was one piece of toast, and I lay awake at night absolutely freezing but sweating like crazy.
The night I took my first tablet, our little girl had a funny turn. She refused her milk bottle at 6pm, which is completely unlike her. We kept her up till 9pm and got her ready for bed, and she refused that bottle too, but then started screaming non-stop. After about an hour we got her to sleep, but she soon woke up screaming again, and refused the bottle, so we took her to the emergency room at the hospital. We spent about 5 hours there in total through the night. They monitored her temperature, pulse and blood sugars and we kept offering her milk in between her sleeping, but she drank none of it. Eventually we were told to go home, let her sleep and try her again in the morning.
At 6am she woke up again and actually had some milk! She went 15 hours all together which was so scary. She wasn’t herself for another few days but is feeling much better now thankfully.
So, on that Monday my husband called in sick to help me out because I still felt awful from my medication. He doesn’t get paid for sick days and with me on maternity leave it’s a huge deal, but I was so grateful. Tuesday morning came and I told him I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day, and I think he felt awful for leaving me. However, 2 hours later he came back home and told me he’d arranged with work to have the rest of the week off, huzzah!
However…within an hour of being home he became ill and spent most of the day in the bathroom. We took him to see a doctor the next morning and got some anti-biotics. It’s probably a water infection that he’s got, but could actually be the first signs of appendicitis. Needless to say, I spent the week looking after him instead.
So where are we now? Our little one is back to her usual self, my husband is back to work and fingers crossed, feeling better, and I’ve got my appetite back. It’s still too early for my medication to make me start to feel better, but I’m getting by okay for now. Fingers crossed I’ll be back to watching movies and blogging real soon!